a sORMY nIGHT wITHOUT tHE “t” 2009

If you take the T out of a storm, it goes from ruthless to toothless. So it goes and so it went.

A lot of lightning last night, a few gusts, a smattering of random water pellets to refresh and remind. A nice back drop for a much needed conversation with my daughter Maria.

May 2009 012

So what indeed did we cover with all of that (wind fire and an iffy version of brim stone) ?

What on earth do 52 year old Dad’s and their 11 year old misplaced daughters talk about on a stormy Friday night?

what elephants… ?

Well, since the weather was a topic, it became a foil for projects of a more sensitive nature, and a warm moist compress to the forehead in terms of the manner and approach to handling the challenges of life. It was a self defense class for my daughter and a reaffirmation that she could indeed protect herself if the prospect of violation of soul, being, and spirit were ever to be engaged.

The mother question of course reared up, and a fundamental sadness once again unscabbed. How do you protect a girl from the fact that indeed you love her, but the mother she loves wasn’t the right mix for you? Do you say it flat out as I did? Does it make it worse or better? Is the essence of letting someone that once loved you and you once loved, is that brutality letting them go or hanging on?

So it seems that while I flounder with the questions of life that Maria and I have chosen to discuss this wet and windy evening, I persist in making sure that my dearest Maria understands that love is the salt needed for bread as well as for her tears.

Yep. So it went like that. Mixed in with thunder, a few slashes of rain, and some jagged (with emphasis on the “gg’s”) lightening.

We did a dog walk and promptly lost the husky (Laz) from her ill clipped leash. So all of a sudden we are running down some dark ally in Lubbock Texas, chasing a pissed off, overheated husky mix that was more evenly tempered to the cooler climates of Michigan, and now is flipping us off as she finds freedom for the first time in a stormy Texas night.

The recapture wasn’t one out of an Animal Kingdom episode that we see on TV, no nets or anesthetic darts, basically just pathetic mewling cries for her to come back. A little bit of fast walking and semi jogging as we became the walked instead of the walkers.

I LIKE Racoons...
I LIKE Racoons…

An enunciation of freedom and a redemptive reminder of undying glue, as she finally allowed us to catch her. So it went with her. She allowed us back in her life, as perhaps a reminder that we should always reconsider any bridges we think of burning. The burden of doubt lays in the leash at hand…

It was a good and heady night. One to be relived but never remixed with afterthought or paint brush.

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